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Avoiding Family Feuds During A Loved One's Funeral

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If you recently had a family member pass away and you intend on hosting a funeral to memorialize their life, you will most likely want to have other family members and friends of the deceased present to pay their last respects. Often, after someone passes away, emotions of those who loved them are running full speed ahead, making it easy for someone to say or do the wrong thing when around other family members. Here are some tips you can use at your loved one's funeral to ensure there are no altercations or outbursts which may embarrass or offend those attending.

Enlist Help From A Designated Peacekeeper

If you are aware that there may be some mishaps during the funeral due to family members that do not get along, it will be a good idea to have a designated unbiased person available to help thwart confrontations before they begin. Let this person know which family members are known to be a bit outspoken and have them nonchalantly walk around the premises listening to conversations to make sure there are no upcoming events about to begin. This person can then alert you if they feel there will be a problem so you can tend to it quickly.

Keep Troublemakers Busy To Avoid Problems

When family members who you feel may start trouble arrive, greet them and talk to them yourself so they are less apt to seek out other members right off the get-go. It is a good idea to have your designated peacekeeper do the same to help keep them busy before and after the ceremony is conducted. Ask those who do not get along to sit or stand in different areas of a church, funeral home, or cemetery as well. Another idea is to ask each of the family members to make a statement at the funeral. This may keep them from starting trouble as they will be contemplating the words they will say instead of worrying about other matters.

Consider Separate Ceremonies In Extreme Cases

If you wish to have different family members attend with the knowledge they do not care for each other, it may be beneficial to host two separate ceremonies to avoid the embarrassment of a problem in front of other loved ones. Decide which members should attend each service and send them the funeral information separately. This will mean you will need to decide how to handle obituary information so there are no hard feelings as a result. One way to do this is to add a line of text in the obituary informing people to call the funeral home to find out the times of the ceremonies. The funeral director will then give the proper information to each person who asks depending on lists you provide to them.